Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Lol, thats funny, sorry for asking, but is your eye doing better? Was their IQ test the same one you get when you enter their site?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What comes after Friday? A ?.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

knock knock who's there Steve Go away

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the boy sad? Because he looked behind him and saw a pedophile penis in his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

a man walks into the bar and say, OUCH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops