What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

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Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

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To mamma so fat..............nuff said

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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