A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

A: Knock Knock. B:Whose there? A:Jehovah witness!

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

A blonde walks into a bar ouch

Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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