Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

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world peace

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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guess what What? Apsolutly nothing

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Me

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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i got 99 problems.... and aids is one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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