Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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Santa isn't real

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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Ben Affleck

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Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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