A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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bangers and mash?

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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pull my finger (farts)

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Just got cancer: YOLO!! -sad face-

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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