Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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How High is a Chinese man

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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