Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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