whats my name? Matt

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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The man and the women were doing something. What are you looking? They just talked

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

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Why are some people so good at basketball? Because they are all black.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

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If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops