What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

How do you kill a black man? You cn coz he'll beat you up first

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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