What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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boobs.

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

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Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops