So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Everyone runs out, screaming, "AH, a dead guy is walking!"

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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penis in the camel

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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