i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A white player in the NBA. Wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops