Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

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What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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Turkeys are obese

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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