Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

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The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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lewis=cardiac

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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