roses are red violets are blue

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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AIDS

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

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A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

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What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops