An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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derp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops