What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

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A man went to the doctor. He had experienced some strong abdominal pain. The doctor looked at him and ordered some tests to be done. He had a kidney stone. The day after he passed the stone, he got ran over by a bus. The man's name was Bob.

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One day a man walked into a wall

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops