One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

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Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

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What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

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How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

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Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

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A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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