Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

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Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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