why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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What's the differece between a rock and a black guy? A rock can't eat fried chicken.

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Women's Rights

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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why was Ralph depressed? Because his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn’t quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family’s murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family’s killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer’s whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers’ home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers’ body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn’s life didn’t, and wouldn’t, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him “You’re finally home Ralph, you’re finally home.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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