Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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yeyeyeyeye live action

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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diarrhea.

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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