What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

Barack Obama is a good president.

"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

What do you give hobos? Febreeze

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

What's cute and smokes? A cute person with a nicotine addiction.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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