So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

Obama walks into a hospital....

How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

Oh, right

why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

George Bush.

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

I C U P White stuff

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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