what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

Help I'm being raped!

My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

autsim

HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

your momma is so fat she has diabetes

Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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