Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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I literally died laughing

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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Good afternoon.

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops