Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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11111

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops