whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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Asian NASCAR.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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