Hello, nice to meet you.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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11111

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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