Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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Antoni Wilkinsin

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

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Why did Hitler hate Jews? Because he use to get bulied by them when he was in high school.

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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