What's more dangerous, a big rock or a small one? It doesn't matter. You can blame my mom for having me.

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

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A man wins 1 million dollars on the pokies. He goes home and tells his wife and kids about the big win. The next day the man goes go the casino and and loses the 1 million as he is addicted to gambling

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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What's red, white, and blue? light purple

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

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Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

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What's worse than HIV? AIDS -Bob Bobby

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why did dinosaurs get extinct? i don't know i was not there to see it!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a man who was just struck in the head with a bowling ball? An ambulance would be the most appropriate thing to call since this man just sustained a serious head injury and medical responders should be contacted, lest his brain start hemorrhaging.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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yo momma so fat that she needs to lose weight

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What is better than a dead baby nailed to a tree? A dead baby nailed to 10 Trees.

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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People who do not realize the concept of this website, and write real jokes on it.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a jew!

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What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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