What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

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How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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I named my son ps2 controller

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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A women in the kitchen.

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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if you don't like this you're gay

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops