A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

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Lewis

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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A young baby died.

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops