whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops