A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Guess what? You guessed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did the man get stabbed? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

when debbie meets downer

thumb_up thumb_down -15

did you stub your toe?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is red? A rock painted red

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops