A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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