Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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what has genitial warts? me

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

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Knock Knock The doors already open

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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