One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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