a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

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why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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no.

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why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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69

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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sdjhkferiughefljbdfnjkbhdfghlwu24537? 928ndfnfwdjfhoinbv;nop[

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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Get 100,000 Twitter Followers for $49.99 at Ladsta.com today!

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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