sorry son your nanas been put down

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

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Kameron Brown is gay.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Yo mama is so ugly that she never got married or involved with anyone in her lifetime because everyone was to scared and ashamed to be around her. you're adopted

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there are 2 men standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is called Peter

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What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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What's worse then 1 bee sting? -2 Bee stings. What's worse then 2 bee stings? -The Holocaust. What's worse then the Holocaust? -3 Bee stings.

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What do the Jewish man, the Black man, and Mexican man all have in common? They all miraculously like cantalope.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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