why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? this overused joke

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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non poop

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Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops