Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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What's the capital of Ohio? O

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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