Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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