What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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A man penetrates another man.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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What's worse than failing an exam? Failing two exams.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

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What's better than winning a gold at the paralympic Walking

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops