"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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What did the girl say to the boy? You are a boy.

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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What is a name of a kid with down syndrome. Adam Hebeison

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops