You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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Win industrial estate, Newry

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A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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