What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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there was once a jew

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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once you go black your credit goes wack

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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