Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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who do you call those who give this joke a thumbs down? people

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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My name is Jeff

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Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you left him

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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