A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

thumb_up thumb_down +29

wanna hear a joke? yes

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Raveena Thandhan

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops