A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

what is worse than a guy pissed?

I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

What do you call a white duck? A quacker

Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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