A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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Get it? More.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

Heskey time.

Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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