Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

Name an American born white man in the NBA. Thats right, you cant

What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

why do mexicans get made fun of

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

You read this in school as a crowd of kids stand behind you laughing at your screen

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

what do you call a gay ginger boy ? Ronan.

Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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