What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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A boy with one arm walks into a rock climbing facility and quickly realizes that his dream of being a rock climber is impossible because he is blind.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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Nickelback.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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whats yellow after cani...nathan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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