Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

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whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

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A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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