Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

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What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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k

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops